My New Year's Resolutions...

Hi Everybody,

I know you have all been sitting around wondering to yourselves, "when will Paul reveal his resolutions for the new year?" After long, hard consideration, here are my three New Year Resolutions:

1. Find every opportunity to use the phrase, "Ah, one of your Earth ______'s" so that I appear more alien. For example, you may say to me, "I think I'm going to go to Taco Bell, do you want anything?" And I would respond, "Taco Bell? Ah, one of your Earth restaurants."

2. Whenever I can not easily explain something, I will blame someone and their use of computers. It may go a little something like this: "Why is it that every time, I get out of one line to go to another, the line I was in before starts moving faster?" I would then respond, "I don't know. Probably someone with a computer somewhere."

3. End all conversations with, "I have to poop" then leave the room.

So, there you have it. My New Year Resolutions.